Biblical Sexualities: part 4

In this series on Biblical perspectives on the various sexual orientations, we have come to a certain end. By an end, I mean to say that I have covered the vast majority of sexualities (with the exception of Poly-sexuality, but the argument about Pan-sexuality pretty much can cover that as well). However, for those of you who were astute enough to notice, there is another piece to this puzzle. (Actually, there will be a part 5, but you can find out what that is going to be tomorrow.) Currently, the missing piece is: the lack of sexuality.

Asexuality

A definition might be in order for everyone who is unfamiliar with Asexuality, and think I'm talking about people who reproduce by budding. Someone who is Asexual generally does not feel sexual attraction towards anyone: men, women, trans, androgynous, etc. This is not to say that they cannot fall in love, as many have what are known as "romantic drives." Also, many Asexuals also have a sex drive, it just is not tuned towards any orientation. Also, Asexuality is not Celibacy, though I will briefly discuss both here. Many, but not all Asexuals, find the act of sexual intercourse to repulsive, which could honestly make a celibate lifestyle easier, should one choose that lifestyle. But anyway, let's talk about the Bible and eunuchs.

Matthew 19:10 "The disciples said to him, 'If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.' 11 Jesus replied, 'Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.'"

Now, obviously this passage talks about celibacy, but it can provide us some insight to how the Bible views Asexuality. Being Asexual is like someone being born a eunuch, (not really, but for the sake of comparison, roll with it). One who was born a eunuch may still feel a romantic attraction, but due to lacking the capability to make certain hormones from birth, may never have experienced sexual attraction. They can still to valuable Kingdom work, and just as back in the contextual times, there were certain tasks only given to eunuchs, there are certain things that Asexuals can do more easily because they lack what Paul later calls the "distraction" of sexual desire.

1 Corinthians 7:"8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.". . .
"27 Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 29 What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none". . .
"32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the LORD's affairs--how he can please the LORD. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world--how he can please his wife-- 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the LORD's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the LORD in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world--how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the LORD."

Okay, so it is better never to marry. In fact, don't just not ever marry, don't seek to be married or locked in a consensual relationship because you're actually going to care about your spouse/ significant other. There is a bit of sense here though, concerning the risk of placing your spouse above God in your life.

As stated previously, Paul is primarily talking about celibacy, but it also has insight into the life of an Asexual. By not giving into sexual desire, one is better able to focus on other things, in Paul's case: spreading the gospel. So, while in Mathew, we see that the Bible tells us that choosing celibacy for the Kingdom of Heaven is to be preferred over all, but Paul's extrapolation tells us that Asexuals are not to be put down just because they may find it easier to focus on Kingdom work. Now, I'm not saying that Asexuals are preferred by God, because it was made clear that chosen celibacy is preferred, at least according to Paul.

So, yeah. One more installment, stick around until tomorrow night and find out what the last edition is.

Away Status

So, it's been a week since my last post, but I've been particularly busy with school as well as having some massive computer problems when trying to connect to our campus network. It's not been fun. However, I cannot solely blame my inactivity on dorm life. In reality, while I have been swamped with work and homework, I have often found time to do other things, like play Chinese Checkers with one of my friends on the other side of campus, and watch Disney movies, and attend a kick-ass concert by a group called "Barrage." They are pretty freakin' sweet, go look them up on YouTube.

But anyway, I have various other reasons for being absent, such as yesterday no longer being an anniversary for my (recent) ex and me. Apart from the emotional trauma of him having a girlfriend and not telling me, and then not telling me who, which I have decided to give up on ever finding out, life has consisted of being antisocial and minor problems with a few friends here on campus, all of which have been solved or overlooked by grace (on the part of either party).

Enough of being vague though. Truth be told, the reason I can now get around to a new post is because I am quite lonely and most everyone has left campus for the weekend. Several of my good friends, including the only other regular attender of Transy Nightly Prayer. The solution to all this though, I know, is learning to rely on God for my companionship. Even though it's hard, I feel like this is something that I am being forced to learn the hard way. And if God is going to go through so much trouble to isolate me, this must be an important lesson.

And when you think about it, it really is an important thing. People will always eventually fail us, therefore, if our reliance is solely on God, who will never let us down, no one can steal our Joy.

Reflections on Eden

Okay, so I am currently reading the book Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. There is a chapter in there talking about the essentially of nakedness. He talked about the time that Adam spent in the garden, over 100 years, being naked and unashamed. In fact, in about 100 words, Moses mentions five times that Adam, and subsequently Eve, were naked before the full glory of God. They lacked nothing. They feared nothing. Nothing had ever gone wrong in their lives. They lived in paradise, and not the very limited view of Eden that modern church-goers imagine. So, I was inspired to try to illustrate a day in the life of Adam, before the Fall, even before Eve. Here we go:

He awoke to the morning sun, rising and lighting the endless fields before him. He yawned and surveyed the expanse of prairie grasses, greeted by the cry of a hawk overhead, flying free, without care or need. Many yards away, lumbering beasts picked at the tall grass as they walked towards the west. The man sat in awe of the creatures because he had never seen them before. He watched intently as each animal continued on in search of the ripest blades of grass.

As he sat, observing these great beasts, every bit as tall as himself, his mind began to wonder, if only for a moment. Quickly though, upon seeing the close family groups within the massive heard, he concluded that this beast was no more fit fill his loneliness than any previous animals he had seen.

After a few minutes of observation, the man stood and was about to begin walking after the herd, until the smallest, youngest animal among them began to edge it's way towards him. He stood frozen, watching a still unsteady child meander up the small incline on which he stood. He knelt down extending his hand to his soft-muzzled companion. His heart was filled with a simple yet overwhelming joy, as he ran his hands through the rough mane of the young beast. The man smiled and looked up to Heaven, and in a loud voice proclaimed: "Buffalo."

The little buffalo turned around and kicked up it's feet and ran back to his herd in jubilee. Assimilated back into the group, all was well with the world again, until the man would encounter yet another never-before-seen animal. He then, stood back up and began his westbound walk. As he began his journey, the glory of God descended to walk alongside the man.

"Another fine name, Adam: Buffalo," God smiled in approval. "I like it."

Adam's heart was filled with joy, yet again. For him, nothing was more satisfying than walking with his Father.


Okay, yeah, it was written fast, and I'm sure it can and will be improved. But, I just had to write that down. I mean, imagine for a moment how awesome it must be to be able to stand in the full glory of God with no insecurities, no fear, no sense of self. Wow!

Expectations

Expectations. We all have them. We place them on ourselves and others, and others place them on us. It was during my first year of college that I realized that my entire life up to that point had been governed by others' expectations of me. For example, even though I was told from a young age "you can have whatever job you want when you grow up," what I was really being told was: "you can have any job you want as long as you make six figures a year, have a college degree, and don't have children." It's a far cry from the encouraging bullshit we all get fed as youngsters. I am just personally amazed that I fell for it for so long, mostly because I have always been told that I am quite intelligent and insightful; gullible was absent from the list.

Of course people who manipulate others' lives, even unintentionally, never want to let the victim know that they are being manipulated; because once the oppressed knows of the oppression, the oppressor loses their power. It is truly amazing how ingrained this simple oppressive force is in our everyday lives. The worse for utilizing this dominating force is elders in one's family. They always say that they have the best of intentions in mind, and often, yes, they do. However, the dialogue between human and human is instantly altered once it occurs between younger and older blood. The older wants to look out for and help the younger, while the younger just wants to learn life's lessons on their own. Truth be told, they won't retain many lessons until they learn them themselves anyway. Sad, isn't it? Anyway, time for a personal application.

As I stated earlier, up until now I have allowed my life to be run by others' expectations of me. I never realized that the primary reason I scored well in school was because I was told to; I got a job because I was told to; I acted like "the good girl" because I was told to; I even applied for college because I was told to. And most recently, I have "visited" members of my family more often this summer than an prior, because I have been told to. Truth be told, I'm sick of being told what to do with my life, especially by people who aren't living it! I mean, really! A stranger cannot tell one what to do, an acquaintance cannot tell one what do, and no more right does a family member have to tell one what to do. I am tired. I am tired of trying to please people who cannot be pleased. I am tired of trying to live up to expectation that I cannot met. I am tired.

My mind is weary. My spirit hangs by a thread. I am officially warn out, and I don't want to go on like this any more. I can't keep living a life that's not mine, defending a person who I don't know. It's no wonder why I have identity issues. I don't know who I am. How many lives am I forced to try to live out? With so many people I am obligated to try to be, which one is the real me? I don't even know who I am, what I want. And now I am just beginning to find the real me, somewhere deep inside this locked heart of mine. All I want, is to finally be me, and it seems like that's the one thing I cannot have.

Such is life, I suppose. I just want to be the typical teenager; I want to declare my independence, be my own person, live my own life, on my own. Sometimes, I guess that that is too much to ask. I don't even know anymore.