So, it's been a week since my last post, but I've been particularly busy with school as well as having some massive computer problems when trying to connect to our campus network. It's not been fun. However, I cannot solely blame my inactivity on dorm life. In reality, while I have been swamped with work and homework, I have often found time to do other things, like play Chinese Checkers with one of my friends on the other side of campus, and watch Disney movies, and attend a kick-ass concert by a group called "Barrage." They are pretty freakin' sweet, go look them up on YouTube.
But anyway, I have various other reasons for being absent, such as yesterday no longer being an anniversary for my (recent) ex and me. Apart from the emotional trauma of him having a girlfriend and not telling me, and then not telling me who, which I have decided to give up on ever finding out, life has consisted of being antisocial and minor problems with a few friends here on campus, all of which have been solved or overlooked by grace (on the part of either party).
Enough of being vague though. Truth be told, the reason I can now get around to a new post is because I am quite lonely and most everyone has left campus for the weekend. Several of my good friends, including the only other regular attender of Transy Nightly Prayer. The solution to all this though, I know, is learning to rely on God for my companionship. Even though it's hard, I feel like this is something that I am being forced to learn the hard way. And if God is going to go through so much trouble to isolate me, this must be an important lesson.
And when you think about it, it really is an important thing. People will always eventually fail us, therefore, if our reliance is solely on God, who will never let us down, no one can steal our Joy.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Nightly Prayer
So, last year a senior started this nightly prayer group. A few people, about 5 or 6, would get together every night at midnight to pray for a while. It was an amazing ministry when it started because it just continued to skyrocket. True, we never had more than like 10 people in a night, but that was okay because those people that came grew visibly closer to God.
And then this year started. Granted, the beginning to the school year is always harsh on students, but it seems like this one has been particularly draining. A total of four people have made it to nightly prayer, which is bouncing back and forth between midnight and 11pm. Only two of us have been making it consistently. The good news is that God said "wherever two or three are gathered in my name, I will be among them." So, even though this year has been off to a rocky start, we know that God still hears us and still listens, and will grow this ministry when the time is right.
And then this year started. Granted, the beginning to the school year is always harsh on students, but it seems like this one has been particularly draining. A total of four people have made it to nightly prayer, which is bouncing back and forth between midnight and 11pm. Only two of us have been making it consistently. The good news is that God said "wherever two or three are gathered in my name, I will be among them." So, even though this year has been off to a rocky start, we know that God still hears us and still listens, and will grow this ministry when the time is right.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Lasagna and Company
I moved back onto campus yesterday evening. Last night, I experienced my first home-made smoothie and my first spice cake. The bad news was that I also got next to no sleep because of this obnoxiously bright light just outside the window just next to my bed. Sunlight from the very window also woke me up this morning at about 8:00am. Not fun, but I digress.
My fellow housemates had decided a while back that we were going to be making lasagna and cheesy/garlic bread tonight for dinner for the house and some friends. It was the first time any of us had made lasagna or cheese bread and while we did have a recipe, the plan included some "winging it." Two of my housemates began preparation of the vegetarian lasagna at 5pm, while I laid down to take an hour nap because I had not gotten enough sleep the night prior, because of that stupid field light. Anyway, 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off, there a loud rapping, rap-rap-rapping, on the front door, which happens to be just outside my room, where I was finally asleep. Startled, I jumped out of my bed and ran to the door, not even bothering to put on my glasses on the way.
Turns out that a former house resident was stopping by to check out the rooms and visit two of the girls that moved in that morning. Needless to say, I was quite irritated because I was finally asleep, but we move on with life. Since God had said that it was not my day to sleep, I decided too pitch in with the cooking effort. All went amazingly well, even with it taking like an hour to cook the noodles, and one of the girls brought home a cheesecake for dessert as well. It was amazing!
Anyway, point of the story, there was like a ton of people in the house, and at first I was very annoyed by this because I'm not used to it. I lived a very solitary summer. As the night wore on though, I got more comfortable with it; it helped that everyone seemed to be genuinely having fun. I honestly can't wait for the rest of the people to arrive on campus tomorrow.
I think this is really going to be a good year. I foresee some rough spots, but I believe that God will give us the grace to smooth everything over.
My fellow housemates had decided a while back that we were going to be making lasagna and cheesy/garlic bread tonight for dinner for the house and some friends. It was the first time any of us had made lasagna or cheese bread and while we did have a recipe, the plan included some "winging it." Two of my housemates began preparation of the vegetarian lasagna at 5pm, while I laid down to take an hour nap because I had not gotten enough sleep the night prior, because of that stupid field light. Anyway, 3 minutes before my alarm was set to go off, there a loud rapping, rap-rap-rapping, on the front door, which happens to be just outside my room, where I was finally asleep. Startled, I jumped out of my bed and ran to the door, not even bothering to put on my glasses on the way.
Turns out that a former house resident was stopping by to check out the rooms and visit two of the girls that moved in that morning. Needless to say, I was quite irritated because I was finally asleep, but we move on with life. Since God had said that it was not my day to sleep, I decided too pitch in with the cooking effort. All went amazingly well, even with it taking like an hour to cook the noodles, and one of the girls brought home a cheesecake for dessert as well. It was amazing!
Anyway, point of the story, there was like a ton of people in the house, and at first I was very annoyed by this because I'm not used to it. I lived a very solitary summer. As the night wore on though, I got more comfortable with it; it helped that everyone seemed to be genuinely having fun. I honestly can't wait for the rest of the people to arrive on campus tomorrow.
I think this is really going to be a good year. I foresee some rough spots, but I believe that God will give us the grace to smooth everything over.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Packing
A book with dog-eared pages,
an old story only half written,
a set of maroon sheets,
All set together tightly in one suitcase.
Packing time is something I always look forward to, yet dread at the same time. It forces you to sit down and determine what is really important in life, and how long you can live without life's little luxuries. Sitting on the floor of my room, a pondered what I needed versus what I merely wanted. "Let's see: Sheets, Towels, shampoo and conditioner; I've got all that. Notebooks, binders, extra paper, sticky-notes. Yep."
A childhood toy,
a comfort item,
something to remind me of you,
Something to remind me of myself.
"What else do I need?" I looked over my bookshelf, my nightstand, my bed. I saw things that I knew I would pack, just not yet. There were too many things I still needed access to before leaving." My alarm clock, my pillows, my stuffed fox (that, yes, I still sleep with every night). I couldn't pack those things up yet. Perhaps I would have the nerve to put those away tomorrow, or the next day.
A box within a box,
holding memories and dreams,
locked away
too tightly to leave behind.
Was I really going to need that book, or that picture? Really? I could live without them, if I didn't have room in my other suitcase. Resigning, I decided that I would only take them if I had room left over. Time to consider clothes, but half my wardrobe needed to be washed before it could be packed. I would just have to wait on that too. I really just wanted to get this whole thing over with. "Would it be too odd to go ahead and put that one box in my trunk, even though I won't leave for a few more days?"
A vase, small but elegant,
the last thing, can't forget,
The now empty vessel,
to hold all the pieces
of my once broken heart.
"I'll pack this tomorrow," I said passing judgment on a small locked box that held so much. An ocarina, the gift from my great-grandmother. A picture of me on the basketball team in the third grade. Two of my baby teeth. A picture from my first year in marching band. A ring, a gift from two friends, from so long ago. The piece of music the band played at my graduation. A small collection of Canadian coins. And two knives, one fairly new, the other being quite old.
Perhaps the rest of the packing can wait. . .
an old story only half written,
a set of maroon sheets,
All set together tightly in one suitcase.
Packing time is something I always look forward to, yet dread at the same time. It forces you to sit down and determine what is really important in life, and how long you can live without life's little luxuries. Sitting on the floor of my room, a pondered what I needed versus what I merely wanted. "Let's see: Sheets, Towels, shampoo and conditioner; I've got all that. Notebooks, binders, extra paper, sticky-notes. Yep."
A childhood toy,
a comfort item,
something to remind me of you,
Something to remind me of myself.
"What else do I need?" I looked over my bookshelf, my nightstand, my bed. I saw things that I knew I would pack, just not yet. There were too many things I still needed access to before leaving." My alarm clock, my pillows, my stuffed fox (that, yes, I still sleep with every night). I couldn't pack those things up yet. Perhaps I would have the nerve to put those away tomorrow, or the next day.
A box within a box,
holding memories and dreams,
locked away
too tightly to leave behind.
Was I really going to need that book, or that picture? Really? I could live without them, if I didn't have room in my other suitcase. Resigning, I decided that I would only take them if I had room left over. Time to consider clothes, but half my wardrobe needed to be washed before it could be packed. I would just have to wait on that too. I really just wanted to get this whole thing over with. "Would it be too odd to go ahead and put that one box in my trunk, even though I won't leave for a few more days?"
A vase, small but elegant,
the last thing, can't forget,
The now empty vessel,
to hold all the pieces
of my once broken heart.
"I'll pack this tomorrow," I said passing judgment on a small locked box that held so much. An ocarina, the gift from my great-grandmother. A picture of me on the basketball team in the third grade. Two of my baby teeth. A picture from my first year in marching band. A ring, a gift from two friends, from so long ago. The piece of music the band played at my graduation. A small collection of Canadian coins. And two knives, one fairly new, the other being quite old.
Perhaps the rest of the packing can wait. . .
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The Loving Embrace
Reading through the four gospels and the book of Acts, I have become amazed. Amazed at the life of Christ and His disciples. For the first time ever, I actually listened to the words of the Lord, and now I understand, at least more than I ever have before, the enormity of God's love for His Creation. And, I have also concluded, as I read in Crazy Love, by Francis Chan (see www.crazylovebook.com) that if one is a follower of Christ, a true Christian, then there in no such option as being "lukewarm." Being a Christian, having a relationship with the living God, falling in love with the lover of our souls, means having a raging fire in our hearts. It's looking at stories of what the world calls "radicals," the men who died for their faith, and seeing a nation truly committed to living out their love for a God who gave up His throne, and lived out a mortal life for us, His beautiful Creation gone awry.
Love is powerful, that's the way it was designed. There is a saying that goes something like: you always to crazy things when you're in love. I mean, when you love someone, truly love them, you can't stop thinking about them. All you want to do is spend time with them; you go out of your way to lavish your feelings on them. Why do we treat our relationship any differently? It is neither right nor fair. Think about all God has done for us. He created the whole Earth, and everything in it: all creatures, all life, every cell in our bodies. He has done more for us that any person could ever do. He has lavished a love beyond our very comprehension, a love we cannot possibly repay. Why are we so hesitant to attempt to spend our love on Him? Really?
Love is powerful, that's the way it was designed. There is a saying that goes something like: you always to crazy things when you're in love. I mean, when you love someone, truly love them, you can't stop thinking about them. All you want to do is spend time with them; you go out of your way to lavish your feelings on them. Why do we treat our relationship any differently? It is neither right nor fair. Think about all God has done for us. He created the whole Earth, and everything in it: all creatures, all life, every cell in our bodies. He has done more for us that any person could ever do. He has lavished a love beyond our very comprehension, a love we cannot possibly repay. Why are we so hesitant to attempt to spend our love on Him? Really?
Passing Inspiration: 8
"Where would I turn without You?
You always know the right direction
And what would I know without You?
You answer all the toughest questions
I, all that I can say
I need You, I need You everyday
One step away from breaking down
10 minutes late and I’m totally falling down
And it’s so plain to see
I’m my own worst enemy
One more day and I’ll get it right
I’m a trip, I’m a mess and I’m crying on the inside
That’s why it feels so good to say
That you’re only a prayer away
Who would I trust without You?
You’re the only one that gets me
How would I live without You?
I never will so don’t even ask me
I, all that I can say
I need You, I need You everyday
I know that life won’t always be rainbows
I know I can count on You
And You will see me through"
You always know the right direction
And what would I know without You?
You answer all the toughest questions
I, all that I can say
I need You, I need You everyday
One step away from breaking down
10 minutes late and I’m totally falling down
And it’s so plain to see
I’m my own worst enemy
One more day and I’ll get it right
I’m a trip, I’m a mess and I’m crying on the inside
That’s why it feels so good to say
That you’re only a prayer away
Who would I trust without You?
You’re the only one that gets me
How would I live without You?
I never will so don’t even ask me
I, all that I can say
I need You, I need You everyday
I know that life won’t always be rainbows
I know I can count on You
And You will see me through"
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Reflections on Eden
Okay, so I am currently reading the book Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller. There is a chapter in there talking about the essentially of nakedness. He talked about the time that Adam spent in the garden, over 100 years, being naked and unashamed. In fact, in about 100 words, Moses mentions five times that Adam, and subsequently Eve, were naked before the full glory of God. They lacked nothing. They feared nothing. Nothing had ever gone wrong in their lives. They lived in paradise, and not the very limited view of Eden that modern church-goers imagine. So, I was inspired to try to illustrate a day in the life of Adam, before the Fall, even before Eve. Here we go:
He awoke to the morning sun, rising and lighting the endless fields before him. He yawned and surveyed the expanse of prairie grasses, greeted by the cry of a hawk overhead, flying free, without care or need. Many yards away, lumbering beasts picked at the tall grass as they walked towards the west. The man sat in awe of the creatures because he had never seen them before. He watched intently as each animal continued on in search of the ripest blades of grass.
As he sat, observing these great beasts, every bit as tall as himself, his mind began to wonder, if only for a moment. Quickly though, upon seeing the close family groups within the massive heard, he concluded that this beast was no more fit fill his loneliness than any previous animals he had seen.
After a few minutes of observation, the man stood and was about to begin walking after the herd, until the smallest, youngest animal among them began to edge it's way towards him. He stood frozen, watching a still unsteady child meander up the small incline on which he stood. He knelt down extending his hand to his soft-muzzled companion. His heart was filled with a simple yet overwhelming joy, as he ran his hands through the rough mane of the young beast. The man smiled and looked up to Heaven, and in a loud voice proclaimed: "Buffalo."
The little buffalo turned around and kicked up it's feet and ran back to his herd in jubilee. Assimilated back into the group, all was well with the world again, until the man would encounter yet another never-before-seen animal. He then, stood back up and began his westbound walk. As he began his journey, the glory of God descended to walk alongside the man.
"Another fine name, Adam: Buffalo," God smiled in approval. "I like it."
Adam's heart was filled with joy, yet again. For him, nothing was more satisfying than walking with his Father.
Okay, yeah, it was written fast, and I'm sure it can and will be improved. But, I just had to write that down. I mean, imagine for a moment how awesome it must be to be able to stand in the full glory of God with no insecurities, no fear, no sense of self. Wow!
He awoke to the morning sun, rising and lighting the endless fields before him. He yawned and surveyed the expanse of prairie grasses, greeted by the cry of a hawk overhead, flying free, without care or need. Many yards away, lumbering beasts picked at the tall grass as they walked towards the west. The man sat in awe of the creatures because he had never seen them before. He watched intently as each animal continued on in search of the ripest blades of grass.
As he sat, observing these great beasts, every bit as tall as himself, his mind began to wonder, if only for a moment. Quickly though, upon seeing the close family groups within the massive heard, he concluded that this beast was no more fit fill his loneliness than any previous animals he had seen.
After a few minutes of observation, the man stood and was about to begin walking after the herd, until the smallest, youngest animal among them began to edge it's way towards him. He stood frozen, watching a still unsteady child meander up the small incline on which he stood. He knelt down extending his hand to his soft-muzzled companion. His heart was filled with a simple yet overwhelming joy, as he ran his hands through the rough mane of the young beast. The man smiled and looked up to Heaven, and in a loud voice proclaimed: "Buffalo."
The little buffalo turned around and kicked up it's feet and ran back to his herd in jubilee. Assimilated back into the group, all was well with the world again, until the man would encounter yet another never-before-seen animal. He then, stood back up and began his westbound walk. As he began his journey, the glory of God descended to walk alongside the man.
"Another fine name, Adam: Buffalo," God smiled in approval. "I like it."
Adam's heart was filled with joy, yet again. For him, nothing was more satisfying than walking with his Father.
Okay, yeah, it was written fast, and I'm sure it can and will be improved. But, I just had to write that down. I mean, imagine for a moment how awesome it must be to be able to stand in the full glory of God with no insecurities, no fear, no sense of self. Wow!
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